Create a beautiful story

Tonight I drove past my old house, just because I was close by. I thought I'd get anxious, maybe upset or be sad. I saw the cars in the driveway. "I used to live there," I thought. That was my porch, my driveway, my outside light. But it was strange, I didn't feel anything. That is not my life anymore. I am not that girl anymore. I am free. After all those years of struggle, heart-ache and sadness. It is just the past in my story.

We all write our own story, by the choices we make and how we choose to live. I hope you live a life that brings you joy and makes your heart sing. You only have one life. Create a beautiful story.

Keep moving

It seems odd that life doesn't just stop when we go through such tragic things in our lives. But the world doesn't wait. Life goes on. We can watch the world go by or continue to put one foot in front of the other.  So this chapter in my life did not go according to the plan. Some day I will look back and it will just be one chapter in a beautiful story. I will take the good from my experience and keep moving. Its a beautiful world out there. 

She let go

DDS

She let go of the past and all that came with it. She let go of the  pain and the sadness too. She let go of the struggle and the things she could not change. She let go of the bitterness she had held in her heart. She got up, wiped away her tears, and walked away.

She will not carry a suitcase full of regret, sorrow and self pity. Instead she will wear a necklace of dignity, strength and grace. She will carry in her heart joy and laughter for her future. And she  will walk away with peace in her soul as the sun shines upon her face.

Done

 This is such an arduous process! I WILL  get thru this ...with Gods guidance :)

After a substantial amount of no contact, I cracked a window of communication. Felt it necessary for closure. Though it did open old wounds, in the end  it brought closure....AND confirmed My decision. That was the last time I will ever allow him to hurt me. I am worthy , I am worthy, I am WORTHY ...of a man to love and respect me and put me before him. To be there for me when i fall and pick me up.  To respect and honor my differences. To hurt when I hurt and go thru great measures to help me feel better. To cherish me, encourage me and  Celebrate my accomplishments. A man who will walk by my side and help me along the journey. Not wrap his body around my legs pulling me down with him. A man who will let me be a women and Hold me when I am weak. A man with integrity who does the right thing... What ever the cost.  A man whos words MATCH his actions. A man that tells me the truth and I don't have to worry he is scamming me, as he does the world. A man who can see he is tearing me down, because he is looking at me, and not at himself. 

He didnt see me. My deep love,  my strength,  my creativity,  my passion for life. He didnt see my kindness and great compassion for others. He didnt see  my struggle to keep us together, my commitment to him year after year. He didnt see my broken soul and heavy heart. He didnt see me .... Because HE CHOSE .... to look the other way....

                                                                           Im done.

Keep walking

keep walking with me along the path I have chosen for you. Your desire to live close to me is a delight to my heart. Together we will forge a pathway up the high mountain. The journey is arduous at times, and you are weak. Someday you will dance lightfooted on the high peaks; but for now, your walk is often plodding and heavy. All I require of you is to take the next step, clinging to my hand for strength and direction. Though the path is difficult and the scenery is dull at the moment, there are sparkling surprises just around the bend. Stay on the path I have selected for you. It is truly the path of life. 

Love, God.                - paraphrased from the devotional- Jesus Calling-

Onward

Ok, so I got a little distracted, was thrown off, unexpectedly. The pain from the past hit me like an ocean wave, paralyzing me with deep sadness. But my God is bigger then that! My eyes are back on the prize, I am looking forward to the beautiful life God has in store. Thank you friends and family for your prayers. Today, honestly I felt the sadness just lift off. My God is Amazing. Onward.

Broken

                       Broken ... Just broken 

         I know that inside God is restoring my soul. 

                But today... I just feel broken.

 

. . . Just Sad

This is my happy face I have for the world. It's the mask I've worn for a really long time. I've always been able to keep it together when all I wanted to do was fall apart. I know that true happy times are soon to come. But for the past couple weeks its like a faucet has been turned on.....I'm just Saaaad.